Psychologists Say This Childhood Punishment That Seemed Normal Is Actually a Form of Emotional Abuse
Mental-health guidance in the U.S. has increasingly focused on how common discipline tactics affect children’s development. In that discussion, psychologists are singling out one familiar punishment — the silent treatment — as a form of emotional abuse when it is used to shame, isolate, or control a child.
Psychologists are naming the behavior more directly
Licensed psychologists and child-development specialists have said in 2025 that the silent treatment can cross from discipline into emotional abuse when an adult intentionally withdraws affection or communication to punish a child. The American Psychological Association has long described emotional abuse as patterns of behavior that harm a child’s emotional development, and clinicians cited in current parenting guidance say deliberate emotional withdrawal can fit that standard.
The specific behavior being discussed is not a short cooling-off period. Experts distinguish between a parent taking 10 or 20 minutes to regulate emotions and a caregiver refusing to speak, make eye contact, or respond to a child for hours or days. Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy, in recent parenting interviews and public guidance, has described that kind of withdrawal as damaging because it teaches a child that connection can be removed as punishment.
What that means for families across the U.S.
This guidance is national, not tied to one state or school district, and it applies to family settings in places from California to Florida. What is confirmed is the clinical consensus among named psychologists that repeated silent treatment can harm attachment, emotional regulation, and a child’s sense of safety; what is not known is how often the practice is used in U.S. homes, because there is no comprehensive federal count from agencies like the CDC.
Researchers have more broadly documented the effects of emotional maltreatment. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, through child-welfare reporting, tracks emotional abuse as a recognized category, but those reports do not isolate silent treatment as its own data point. That means families are hearing clearer warnings from clinicians in 2025 even though no nationwide database breaks out this exact punishment by number.
Why the message is changing now
The shift reflects a broader change in parenting and mental-health language over the last decade. Since the 2010s, pediatric and psychology groups have increasingly emphasized attachment, co-regulation, and trauma-informed care, and organizations including the American Academy of Pediatrics have warned that harsh, fear-based discipline can create lasting stress responses in children.
For parents and caregivers, the practical takeaway is narrower than some online discussions suggest. Experts said a brief pause to calm down is not the same as punitive silence, but extended refusal to acknowledge a child is the behavior raising concern. In current U.S. parenting guidance, the emphasis is on consistent communication, clear limits, and repair after conflict, a framework clinicians say better supports child development in 2025.
